Blah

I am having a blah kind of day...  week even.  I am not sure what is going on.  I am thinking it is all stress related.  New job, kid in Kindergarten, kid getting ready to start full time day care, poor, yeah, it might be stress.  

I am not really worried about the new job.  I think I will understand it and not have a lot of issues, even though I have heard horror stories.  I am older than the last time I learned insurance laws and things most certainly don't click as quickly, I am still confident that I will not have any issues.  Plus, as much as I love being home with the kids, I need a job.  I am just not wired to be a stay at home mom.  (more guilt)

As for Soph being in kindergarten, there is really nothing I can do.  She is definitely very ready.  She needs to meet other kids.  She is on cloud nine, but after just one day I can see the change.  It is only going to get worse.  She will lose her sweetness.  Kids are mean.  First day a mean kid kept kicking her blocks over.  It was a boy, I am sure he liked her, but this is just the beginning of it.

Jackie in full time daycare.  This is the one that is really getting me.  I feel this overwhelming guilt about it.  He will be 19 months and away from us for over 8 hours a day!  Jackie needs to be in daycare, there is no doubt, but I feel horrible about it.  He is still not talking much.  He says Mama, Dada, Bubba, more, pap, up, and makes a da sound for the dog.  That is really about it.  I am sure a lot of it is from his ears.  Since he got tubes, he is definitely more aware of noise.  I think he really couldn't hear for about 5 months until he got the tubes.  He is seeing a speech therapist once a week.  However, I am pretty sure the other reason he doesn't talk is because he doesn't need to.  We cater to him and if we try to get him to talk or use words, Soph gives him what he wants.  He needs to be with other kids his age.

The poor thing, well that is the reason for the job.  It should get better, though it really won't, because we will keep living outside of our means and continue to struggle.  It is our fault and we can fix it if we choose to.  

OK, it is all there.  I feel slightly better just mentioning my issues.  On an unrelated note, Jack came strolling into the living room eating a green pepper like an apple.  Smiling ear to ear.  He was obviously very proud of himself.  the disturbing part is not even that he was eating a green pepper, but that he has to use a stool and climb up on the counter and get it off the window sill above the sink in the kitchen!!  His constant climbing terrifies me!