Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Jack's 5 year list

Jack's 5 year old list  
1. What is your favorite color? Blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Bumble Bee transformer
3. What is your favorite fruit? Apple
4. What is your favorite TV show? Transformers
5. What is your favorite movie? Polar Express
6. What is your favorite to eat for breakfast? Cereal
7. What is your favorite outfit? Jeans and Nike sweatshirt
8. What is your favorite game? Mustache Mash
9. What is your favorite snack?Cheez its  
10. What is your favorite animal? Gorilla
11. What is your favorite song? Whip Nae Nae
12. What is your favorite book? Christmas is coming tab books
13. Who is your best friend? Gianni 
14. What is your favorite cereal? Cheerios
15. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Tag
16. What is your favorite drink? Chocolate Milk
17. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
18. What do you take to bed with you at night? Toy dinosaur
19. What is your favorite lunch? Macaroni and cheese with carrots
20. What do you want for your birthday? Toy Optimus to go with Bumble Bee
21. What do you want to be when you grow up? Police Man
22. What is your favorite vegetable? Sausage and Corn

Sophie's list

Sophia's 9 year old list  
1. What is your favorite color? Blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Phone
3. What is your favorite fruit? Apple
4. What is your favorite TV show? Stuck in the Middle
5. What is your favorite movie? Malificent
6. What is your favorite to eat for breakfast? Sausage burrito
7. What is your favorite outfit? Dress with geometric designs
8. What is your favorite game? High School Story
9. What is your favorite snack? Chex Mix
10. What is your favorite animal? Owls
11. What is your favorite song? Red Taylor Swift
12. What is your favorite book? Diary of a Wimpy Kid
13. Who is your best friend? Abby and Meghan
14. What is your favorite cereal? Apple Jacks
15. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Jump Rope
16. What is your favorite drink? Lemonade
17. What is your favorite holiday? Halloween
18. What do you take to bed with you at night? Pillow
19. What is your favorite lunch? Tacos
20. What do you want for your birthday? Pony
21. What do you want to be when you grow up? Scientist or writer
22. What is your favorite vegetable? Corn

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Happy 2016

Another year over, and the new ones just begun. 2015 has been the hardest year for me. I'm trying something new in 2016. I'm going to try some new year resolutions. I have to quit smoking again. I know that is a stupid and common resolution, but I'm going to do it. I'm also going to continue being a vegetarian in honor of my beautiful Jordan. I've been doing it since July 19 and it's been pretty easy, but with winter and the lack of a garden, it's been a little harder. I wish you and yours a happy and prosperous new year. 

Friday, December 25, 2015

So this is Christmas...

Today we celebrated Christmas. It was rough. We spent the day at Rick and Julies. It was warm and sunny. It didn't feel like Christmas. It's hard to know how to be happy at family events. Try as we might to keep smiling for the kids they were empty and unheartfelt smiles. How do you keep going after the loss of something so wonderful. I am just the aunt. When I see my brother and his wife and my nieces and nephew, my heart aches. I know how hard everyday is for me, I just can't imagine what they are feeling. I feel her presence every where and try to use that to stay sane and happy. To try to be a good mom and wife. There are good days now, I feel like I am making some progress, but holidays just hurt. 

Hug your loved ones an extra time and hold on a minute longer, because you just never know.  

Merry Christmas.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Rest Easy Beautiful

     On July 19 on her 18th birthday, I lost my beautiful niece Jordan Renee in a car accident. We all went to my brothers house to celebrate her birthday that day. We arrived late, but got there just in time for cake. We laughed, ate cake and teased her that she had to leave to go to work and we would be at the house swimming for her birthday, but that's being an adult after all. She hugged us and told us she loved us and left. An hour or so later, my parents left. Chris, the kids and I stayed to visit with my brother, Julie, Jessie, Kenny, Colt, and John. Within twenty minutes, my parents were back.  We were sure dad forgot something, but instead they said there was a bad accident and the road was closed. We still didn't think too much of it. Jordie had left some time before.  But to be on the safe side, her mom called the store she was working at to make sure she arrived safely. While she was on hold waiting to see if she was there, a giant buck walked down the middle of the road and just watched us as we watched it. When we found out she was not at work, my dad and brother drove back down to the accident. We stayed at the house and were still sure that it wasn't her. We knew she was late for work because of the accident and had to turn around and go the long way. When my brother and dad returned, I knew from the look on my brothers face while they were still pulling in there was bad news. Yet I was still sure, that she was going to be ok. When he spoke the words "she's gone", it was like the earth cracked. My brothers face and those words haunt my dreams and my thoughts every day. My brain couldn't comprehend it. I could think of nothing to say but no. As the minutes turned to hours, then to days, I still just couldn't believe that this could be happening. We were supposed to be in NYC for her birthday. Like we had been the year before. Like we had been every year for the last several years. I had to reschedule because of work this year. We were booked to go on August 6. We had been planning all the new places we wanted to visit for weeks. Now, just over a month later, I am still feeling lost. Chris's friend said something to the effect of "No human in all the world has ever learned to deal with loss/grief". When I become so lost that I cannot breath, I think of her smile. She was 18 years old and already had learned all the things I have been trying to figure out my whole life. She knew each day was a blessing, she loved loudly, and lived every day to the fullest. She was unlike myself and really most all women I know. She didn't hold a grudge and she didn't stay angry. She used to message me and tell me about a new band she found that she was sure I would love. Chris and I encouraged her hippie side. We gave her a guitar, books, and encouraged her to think freely. She loved hooping at music festivals. Sophie adored her. She wanted to be her. She would get mad because I wouldn't let her wear shirts that were too small so her belly would stick out like JoJo's did. I keep telling myself when I am trying to sleep, but can't get her out of my mind that she was just too big and perfect for this harsh imperfect world.

My family is slowly unraveling. I would like to be of some help, but I'm right there with them. I am bitter and angry at the entire world. I am angry that the world just keeps spinning. People are just going about their lives.

I keep reading this and trying to convince my self, but I can't. I get why people are religious. Anything to make this awful gut wrenching pain stop.  All the stuff that mattered so much is so trivial, and I get pissed at myself for letting the Duggars or Trump piss me off. Life is entirely too short and important to worry about shit that doesn't directly affect me.
July 19, 2014

Friday, December 06, 2013

RIP Great Man

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”   - Nelson Mandela

Yesterday a great man and contributor to the history of the world was lost.  As I read the terrible comments of our population it makes me sad and have even less faith in humanity.  If you don't want to read his entire biography (you really should), just read his Wiki page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_Mandela

Or if you must, just go back to posting your ridiculous BS about a shitty actor who like little girls.  Why is nobody talking about that part of Walker?  They all talk about his lovely girlfriend of the last 7 years who is 23...  You do the math! 

Wednesday, March 27, 2013


With marriage equality in the supreme court right now I feel the need to vent.  I have seen so many bigoted and terrible things posted on Facebook and different sites I visit.  What is with all the hate?  Apparently the religious argument is on it's way out and now the big argument is the "slippery slope" argument.   One of my cousins said "Well, here is my question, what if I want to marry my sister?  or my of age daughter?  Will that be allowed?".  It was hard for me not to call her the names that were rattling through my head, but family blah blah, so I decided to be polite.  I asked her "Do you want to marry your sister, or your daughter?  I don't know anybody who really wants to do that.  I do however know several people who want to marry the love of their life, and have the same rights that you have."  I also might have mentioned, that if she thinks that on the slippery slope to what will come next if she believes that incestuous marriages will be on the rise that maybe we should just ban all marriages, since heterosexual marriages is really what lead us to this place right?  Of course, I got no reply and she deleted her post.

I have said it on here before and I am going to reiterate it again, I just don't see why people care so much?  How is your marriage going to mean less if two men or two women get married?  I hear the child argument a lot, but 3/4 of the people I grew up with only a mom most of the time, and an occasional dad visit every other weekend. 

I will leave it with this, if you don't like or believe in gay marriage, don't get one, or go to one, but don't ruin things for other people who don't share your opinions and beliefs.  I am not begging you to agree with it, but open your eyes a little wider, take 5 minutes and really think about what has you so afraid of gay marriages.  Oh, I I feel pretty safe in saying you are not going to catch "the gay" if gay marriages are allowed, so if that is your only fear...

Thursday, March 21, 2013


     We went to see the Badlees at the Joint over the weekend.  I loved the Badlees in the 90's.  They sounded great even 20 years later.  It was a good time.  I also went to see Bon Jovi a few weeks ago.  Thanks to Shanon for taking me.  I stopped listening to Jovi in about 1996ish, but still love the old stuff.  Just an FYI, don't try to get a cab at the Jordan center after a show.  DOES NOT WORK!  We ended up walking a mile or so until luckily one just happened to pass us. It was only an $8 cab ride, but he got $30.  Best $30 I ever spent.  I was pretty sure we were going to freeze before we got to the car!  Tomorrow I am buying my tickets to see Ben Folds, Guster, and Barenaked Ladies.  After the list I made while bored at work, I decided I need to get out more and see more music.

Hopefully no more pics with snow!
     We have had a rough winter, the kiddos have been sick continuously.  Poor Jackie.  One ear infection after another even with the tubes!  Both kids tested positive for strep last week and now Jackie has developed a reaction to the amoxicillin.  Poor little man swelled up everywhere.  Luckily, it didn't effect (affect?  I'm always wrong on this) his breathing.  Hopefully with spring finally arriving, he will not get sick anymore this year, and by next year maybe he will be at least a little immune.  I hope so anyhow.  My mother had knee replacement surgery three weeks ago.  She is doing really well and already seems to be feeling better.

     Soph still loves school, but seems to be having some issues with a mean girl already.  It is breaking my heart.  She is so sweet and gets her feelings hurt so easily.  I really need to toughen her up.  I think I will send her to my brothers for a few weeks over the summer so he and the girls can toughen her up.  She has a case of Bieber fever right now.  It's a little sad to me after all the time spent with us and all the great music she loved that after 7 months of school, she already forgets who the Beatles are.  Thank goodness summer will be here soon and we can remind her.  I guess if I survived New Kids and Poison, she will survive Bieber...  I hope.

      Still plugging away at work.  I miss my ER.  I think mostly I miss the schedule.  Chris has decided not to do the summer semester this year, so he will get to take my place over the summer and do all the fun stuff with the monsters...  SNIFFLE

Sunday, January 06, 2013

1/2 of 70

Today I turn 35.  I am not handling this as badly as I did 30.  I am in a good place.  I have the man of my dreams and two amazing and wonderful kids.  I had a great time celebrating last night with my circle of 5 plus a few extras.  I have also gotten wiser since 30 (and 25 and 21), because there was no throwing up and I feel just fine today.  I am a little tired though.  I guess that's part of getting old.  Partying all night and then getting up bright and early doesn't work as well.  We are going to my parents for a few hours, then vegging on the couch.  I have decided this is the year to quit smoking.  I need to lose the 15 lbs I have gained and quit smoking.  I have also decided to not judge people so quickly.  I am going to give people at least ten minutes instead of making up my mind in the first 30 seconds.  I am also going to try being "nice",  It is a big change and I fear it will be harder than quitting smoking.  

Chris's parents left today.  They have been up since Christmas.  Seeing the kids and husband so miserable when they leave sucks.  South Carolina is just a little too far from Central PA.   We had a great Christmas.  Except for some nasty colds.  We spent time at Ricks, Uncle Jim's, and of course my parents on Christmas day.  I think next year we will have Christmas day here.  It makes more sense, there is a lot more room for everyone here. 

I am completely addicted to Mumford and Sons.  I have been hearing about them for such a long time and didn't pay attention.  Now, I get it.  They are incredible.  Not much more to report.  It has been awhile since I have posted, but at least it was a year.  Wishing you all a bright and happy New Year.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Time to be Thankful

4 days until my second favorite holiday!  Of course Halloween is first, but Thanksgiving is a close second.  I have been watching everybody on Facebook do there daily thankful posts and I have to say, I am glad I skipped that.  It is pretty annoying.  However, I think putting out there what you are thankful for is a good idea.  So often through the year while we are working and stressing about everything from money, to the kids, to the broken car, we forget to take a minute to be thankful for all the awesomeness that we have every day.  So I am going to do it on here in one fell swoop instead of daily.

I have a lot to be thankful for again this year.  I will start with my husband as I do every year, because he keeps getting better.  The last 11 years with him have been absolutely amazing.  He is the most patient man I have ever met.  He is kind and considerate and by far the most amazing father I could have ever dreamed of.   Next, my Sophia.  She is growing so fast.  I can't believe she was ever that tiny little 6lb baby I brought into the world.  She is beautiful and smart and like her daddy, she is considerate to others.  She worries as much about everyone around her as she does about her own happiness.  Then of course is my Jackie.  He has brought so much happiness to our family.  He too is growing so quickly, like his daddy at the age of 20 months he is about 5lbs smaller than his 6 year old sister.  He keeps us smiling with all of his silly faces and dancing moves.  Then there is my parents.  We could truly not make it without their love and support.  My mother and father in law as well.  We are lucky to have parents who have showed us how to endure tough times and enjoy the good times.  Between our parents, there are over 85 years of marriage expertise!  My brother and his family.  My beautiful nieces.  The serious one and the goofy one.  Uncle Jim who has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember.  My circle of 6 (Mindy, Jude, Shanon, Jimmy, Kenny, and Peg) who have been friends to me through the good times and the hard times.  I am a lucky person to have people I can count on without fail for anything I need.  The rest of my extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, the list is very long, but I am thankful for each and everyone of them.   I am thankful that we are all healthy and happy.

I started with what really matters, but I am also thankful for so much more, like our warm home.  I am thankful for all of the incredible shows on HBO and Showtime!  (Dexter, Boardwalk, The Newsroom, Californication, True Blood, Honmeland, etc) They allow Chris and I to have date night in the comfort of our own home a few nights a week. I am thankful for the addition of the band Middle Brother into my life and would be more thankful if they would put out another album, I have listened to their only one to death over the last 3 months!  I am thankful for SongPop which I am completely addicted to.  I am thankful that Obama was re-elected and that I knew the night of the election and didn't have to wait weeks to know for sure. I am thankful for Chicken Corn Chowder and Panera Bread.  I am thankful I was able to go on a fabulous vacation in June and finally visit the city of my dreams, New Orleans, LA.  I am also thankful that it exceeded my expectations by a mile.  I am thankful 80's fashions are coming back, not that I will be wearing most of them, but I love seeing people wearing hyper colored shirts and tight straight legged jeans with zippers, boots over jeans (ok I do this one), leggings, etc.  I am thankful for thrift stores, and judge me all you want, but I am so thankful to be able to go Black Friday shopping again this year. Last, but most certainly not least, Lambrusco wine... 

I am done, though I know I will think of things later and be disappointed for not including them.  I hope that you have a happy Thanksgiving and appreciate what you have and are able to not sweat the small stuff...  At least for a few days. 

Monday, October 29, 2012


I was doing really good for awhile there.  Posting almost weekly.  I am entirely too busy now!  I think of things I want to blog about, but then by the time I get home, I am too tired to do anything!  We have had a hectic couple of weeks.  Sophia turned 6!  We had a small party at the house.  Grammy, Pappy, Gramma, Grandpa, Jessie, Jordan, Mindy, Anthony, Uncle Jim and Judy, Uncle Gene and Aunt Donna were all here.  Sophia also invited Abby, Samantha who lives next door to gram, and her friend from school Mia.  We decided to get a pinata.  I was nervous, but it turned out to be a huge success. 

Gramma and Grandpa stayed for two weeks, so Jackie was lucky enough to stay home with them.  We sent him to school one day each week, just so he would remember it.  

Right now, we are waiting for Hurricane Sandy to arrive.  Wind is blowing, rain is pouring, and everyone else is having power outages.  Fingers crossed that doesn't happen to us.  Chris had off today and already got a call that school was cancelled for tomorrow.  I am jealous.  We were advised work would begin at 8 instead of 7:30.  We were also advised that we would be expected to stay until 4:30.  Of course, I have to be at the ER at 4:30 so that is not going to work.  Atlantic City is getting hammered.  Already over the boardwalk and the storm is still 100 miles out to sea.  It is supposed to pass directly over us.

Spent the weekend shopping in Tannersville.  Got some surprisingly good deals.  I have never heard good things about those outlets, but they had some great sales.   The job is still going about the same.  Still nervous.  I swear I have gotten dumber, stuff just doesn't sink in like it once did.  Hopefully by the time training is over I will be ready. 

I am going to try to continue to update more often.  I am sure with election day nearing, I will have a lot to talk about.  Hopefully celebrating, but I am nervous.  With the impending hurricane, Barry did a press conference today.  One of the idiot reporters asked how Barry thought the hurricane would affect the election.  Barry replied that he was not worried about the election, he was worried about the people.  Of course Faux news felt that was not the right response.  All my republican friends are saying it was all about the election blah blah blah.  The man can do no right.There are even people saying he declared states of emergency in DC, NYC, Jersey, etc. to avoid dealing with stuff.  It makes me crazy.  This is expected to be one of the worst storms in history, and it is all Obamas fault.  He used witch craft or something to make it happen to take attention off of other stuff.  ARGH!

6th birthday questionnaire

Sophia's 6 year old list  
1. What is your favorite color? Purple
2. What is your favorite toy? Tilda Bear
3. What is your favorite fruit? Apple
4. What is your favorite TV show? Fairly Odd Parents
5. What is your favorite movie? Cinderella
6. What is your favorite to eat for breakfast? Cereal
7. What is your favorite outfit? Birthday Dress
8. What is your favorite game? Freeze Tag
9. What is your favorite snack? Gummies
10. What is your favorite animal? Dogs
11. What is your favorite song? ABC song
12. What is your favorite book? Sleeping Beauty
13. Who is your best friend? Abby
14. What is your favorite cereal? Lucky Charms
15. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play games where monsters are chasing her.
16. What is your favorite drink? Apple Juice
17. What is your favorite holiday? Halloween
18. What do you take to bed with you at night? Tilda Bear
19. What is your favorite lunch? Pizza
20. What do you want for your birthday? Monster High stuff
21. What do you want to be when you grow up? Orthodontist
22. What is your favorite vegetable? Carrots

Sunday, October 07, 2012

3 weeks in

The job is going ok I think.  Training is long and sometimes monotonous, but doable.  The kids are both stuffy, but of course that doesn't slow them down.  Mindy and I booked our Wine Fest girls getaway for December.  I am very excited.  I have been wanting to do a wine tour for ages.  Today we are having a few people over for the Eagles vs. Steelers game.  GO EAGLES!  

Sophie is at a pool party for a classmates birthday.  She already has two parties this month.  I am going to go broke buying Barbie dolls for kids I don't know!!  I spent the entire morning calling every Target, Walmart, Dollar Tree, Dollar General, pool store, 5 below, and drug store in the area trying to procure some water wings.  October is not a good time of the year in Central PA to find water wings!  When I couldn't find them I tore our closet apart and found a pair!  Thank goodness!  Sophia's birthday party is next week, cannot believe my baby girl is turning 6!  She informed us last week that she got 'dumped'.  She took it pretty well, since she said she still has Andrew.  Kindergarten and dumped.  Ugh, not sure Chris or I will survive the teenage years.


Hold on by Alabama Shakes!!  Great stuff!!!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Hayes Carll