Poor Simon

My poor dog has been through hell and back and it keeps getting worse. First he was bought by a woman who wanted him to be a sex slave for all of his years. Then she named the poor little thing "Mickey Blue Eyes". How gay is that. Then she lost him and we found him. Then we had him neutered. A month and a half later the woman who did not turn him in as lost saw Chris walking him and slammed on the breaks and said "hey, that is my dog". Then the cop came and tried to take him away from us. Of course we won because she was negligent. Then we went on vacation for a week and left him with a friend of ours in a house full of dogs.. Then, we left him again for the honeymoon and he was struck by a car and broke his leg. Then, after having pins put in his leg, having to wear a cone on his head, and being made fun of by all of his friends, the vet had to re-break the leg because it was not healing right. He still has a cast on. It has been almost three months. Tonight, Chris was making soup and after he dumped it in his bowl and turned around, he tripped over Simon and spilled the boiling hot soup on his head. The poor thing yelped for like 5 minutes. It was the most awful sound I have ever heard. If we have this many problems taking care of a dog, what will we ever do with a child?? Chris said that when we have kids he is sure he will have a heart attack. That just cannot be good.