This probably wouldn't have been as funny if it wasn't local...
BELLEFONTE -- James Kassab arrived bright and early -- 9:45 a.m. -- at the Centre County Courthouse Annex on Thursday, where he was scheduled to plead guilty to drunken driving.
The problem was that he was drunk when he got there.
A portable breathalyzer test found his blood alcohol level to be about .15 percent, or almost double the legal limit to drive in Pennsylvania.
Centre County Judge Bradley P. Lunsford was not amused and ordered Kassab, 24, of 622 Galen Drive, State College, handcuffed, led from the courtroom and put in a holding cell for the rest of the day to sober up. Kassab did not even receive a lunch.
"We're going to try it again here at 3:45 p.m.," Lunsford said, donning his judicial robes. "If he is sober, we'll take his plea. And, if not, well, we'll see him tomorrow."
Later, with Lunsford seated on his bench, two sheriff's deputies led the bleary-eyed and still-handcuffed Kassab to a seat nearby.
"How do you feel?" Lunsford asked without looking up.
"Pretty embarrassed," Kassab answered.
"I bet," the judge said, still not looking up.
This time, a breath test reported no alcohol in Kassab's system, and as Kassab was now clearly coherent, Lunsford accepted his plea to drunken driving.
As Kassab repeatedly apologized, Lunsford told him that until his sentencing, he is not allowed to drink any alcohol, to be inside any establishment that serves or sells alcoholic beverages, or to even be near someone who is drinking alcohol.
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