Monday, August 27, 2012

Life is hitting me!

First day of preschool
 So tomorrow Chris and I are going to the school to meet with Sophia's kindergarten teacher.  I am having a meltdown.  To make my self feel better, I read old blog posts.  It is 12:37 AM, every one is asleep and I am sobbing like a baby!  On October 16, 2007 I dropped her off for daycare for the first time.  She was one day shy of being 1 year old.  The title of my post is "Traumatized for Life".  In two days (technically, one because it is now Monday) I will drop her off for her first day of kindergarten.  My baby girl will be in school.  She will have influences in her life other than mine and the ones I choose for her.  She will become her own person and there is nothing I can do about it.  She is so sweet and sensitive.  Kids are little dicks and will hurt her feelings.  She will have her heart broke and hopefully make lasting friendships.  She will know every thing, and I will know nothing.  She will grow and continue to find out who she really is, and I will watch and be proud, but always remember the sweetness and innocence that she has today.  I know it is kindergarten, but it is harder than I had expected.  I see how different she is after spending a few hours one day every other week with a friend.  She is going to spend 8 hours a day away from us.  I am trying not to think about the fact that in just three weeks, Jackie will be going to daycare too.  I need to get past the Sophie issue first, then I will start panicking about my Jackie.  No wonder parents have gray hair and wrinkles.  The stuff I always thought would be hard is not, and the stuff I thought I would be thankful for and ready for is ripping me apart.
2 days before Kindergarten