Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Traumatized for life

Dropping Sophie off at daycare was seriously the worst thing I have ever done. I took her in to her classroom, the other kids were all napping. We sat down at a little table with the teacher and the teacher and Sophie played with blocks and puppets and I sat next to them with tears rolling down my cheeks. I stayed for about 15 minutes. When I left, I tried to give her a kiss and she turned her head. I had to stop in the office and pay the lady while still trying to hold the real tears in. The lady asked if I was OK, and then the waterworks just started pouring out. I couldn't stop. I paid her and then went back to watch Sophie for another minute through the window. All I could see was her tiny little head. She looked over at me and gave me half a grin and went back to playing. On the way out the door, I was almost hyperventilating. I cried for 45 minutes straight. I got to work and my eyes were puffy, my nose was red and runny. My boss asked if I was OK, and I started again. It SUCKED ass. I am already worried about tomorrow. Chris said when he went to pick her up she was outside playing. He said that she saw him she smiled and went back to playing. Which I guess is a good thing. I am hoping tomorrow will be easier. I cannot imagine it being harder. SNIFFLE.